CrAEoNs

I was given a 12 pack of crayons when I started kindergarten.
That year I lost my first crayon when chase and his lackeys made fun of me for wearing my favorite shoes.
My yu-gi-oh shoes.
The light up ones.
They stole that crayon and put it in their own pack because they didn't feel like their crayons were good enough.
In first grade I had to throw one of my crayons away because my girlfriend used it after she picked her nose in front of me.
AND ATE IT.
In second grade I lost one more crayon when I got in trouble for acting too childish.
Third grade claimed another crayon when I had to share a birthday with Anne, my nemesis.
She borrowed it and never gave it back.
Fourth grade followed that, claiming another crayon when I found out santa wasn't real.
I burned a whole crayon writing a note to a man who doesn't exist.
Fifth grade was rough, popular kids started emerging from the woodwork.
One of them pulled my pants down and made fun of my underwear because it had trucks on it.
He took that crayon and smashed it under his pokemon snow boots.
Sixth grade wasn't very much better, we moved 800 miles away and I had to make all new friends.
But eventually I did, and finally I got settled in to this new place.
I forgot one of my crayons in class one day, my 3rd favorite one too.
Seventh grade we moved right back to the same place we left.
I was packing like 30 pounds of babyfat and didn't know how to dress myself.
I left a crayon in my favorite pair of basketball shorts that went through the wash.
Eighth grade took another crayon when I wore another pair of shoes nobody liked.
Everyone that saw called me gay, then one day one of those kids pushed me over and stole a crayon.
Ninth grade was good to me, so good that it let me keep all the crayons I had.
Tenth grade was cool I guess, but I burned through a whole crayon taking notes in all my hard classes.
2 left.
Eleventh grade I let the girl I liked borrow her favorite color.
Then we kissed and she stopped talking to me.
I thought it was best if she just kept it.
Now I'm here, twelfth grade with one crayon left.
One crayon.
So much more life to live.
But once I graduate I get a lifetime supply of generic black pens.
Black pens to illustrate the rest of my life.
I think I'll hold onto this last crayon and save it for when I know I really need it.

Fears

Things I am afraid of

• the dark
• low phone battery
• girls
• awkward silences
• report cards
• Ted Bundy's cave
• Popular kids
• getting in the car late at night
• running up the stairs in the dark
• jumping in bed after you turn off the light
• people I have to impress
• tight spaces
• heights
• bad drivers
• someone offering me drugs
• graduating
• disappointing my parents
• getting pulled over
• running long distances
• forgetting school work
• school
• overcooked bread
• being bitten by bugs or small animals
• being alone in the woods at night
• paying for college
• getting rejected by girls
• getting kidnapped
• not knowing how much money is in my bank account
• losing my hair
• disappointing my friends
• being on old boats
• not being able to feel my phone in my pocket
• not being able to feel my wallet in my pocket
• 6 missed calls from mom
• rich people
• eating food cooked in a dirty house
• disappointing my siblings
• not getting my change from the vending machine
• raw chicken
• people missing lots of teeth
• rock climbing
• texting first
• old houses
• walking out of a store I didn't buy anything in
• ordering the wrong food for someone
• being disappointed
• satan
• swimming in big lakes
• cabins late at night
• overcooking my eggs
• coming home to an empty pantry
• jumping over fences
• having my feet hang out of the bottom of my blanket
• bears
• driving in fog
• getting lost in the wilderness
• calls from unknown numbers
• riding a bike down a big hill
• the movie the labyrinth
• being alone at night
• getting stuck in an alternate dimension
• kissing
• fast running rivers
• writing lame poems

Canned food

Most people have them. It's something that is usually in the back of our minds. Nobody usually thinks to them self, "I'm gonna go chow down on some diced chilies!" or "Dang, a mouthful of artichoke hearts sounds delicious right now". At least I've never thought that to myself. But I know I have hundreds of cans in my house right now just like that. I also know that when a couple of cans come together they can make something amazing.  We're talking some of the worlds best chili. World class enchiladas.  Award winning beef stroganoff. Life changing stir-fry. Mind boggling lasagna, and illustrious 7 layer dip. You see, we are all canned foods. Some of us are pickles, others may be tomato juice, blueberries, pineapple chunks, kidney beans, or even canned tuna. Sometimes it's hard to realize that on our own we might not be as great as we wish to be, but if we can find the right recipe and the right cook, we all become a gourmet meal so enticing and so divine that Gordon Ramsay himself would give his compliments to the chef. So on days you're feeling like a can of refried beans, just know you are a piece of some of the best nachos this side of the Mississippi.

Bricks to the face

My life has been full of bricks some good, some bad.
Some were handed to me on a silver platter, others thrown at my face when I least expected it.
Some hand forged by the gods on mount Olympus, others thrown together by satan in a matter of minutes.
Some came conveniently, others completely blindsiding me.
Some were asked for, others forced upon me.
All in all I think I've built a fairly decent structure with the bricks given to me.
But I've only just laid the foundation.
Just gotten a taste of building my future.
Life is about to start and I've gotta get my bricks together.
Otherwise I'm gonna get bricked right in the bricking brick.
Sometimes it really sucks, we have no choice but to lay the bricks we're dealt.
But that's just how life is.
The house we build might not be the best looking or the nicest.
But that doesn't mean it's worth less.
That just means it has something called character.
And thats something no amount of high quality bricks can buy.
It is a statement to everyone who see's the house you built that, "hey, I haven't exactly had the best luck but look what I have been able to make of that."
Thats what I want people to say when they look at my house.
You might have one good looking house but whats going to happen to it when a storm hits?
If you've never had to do anything hard in life you might find yourself in a pile of beautiful bricks.
Beautiful worthless bricks. 
And thats worse than any brick to the face, I'll tell you that right now.
But I suppose thats just how bricks work, isn't it.

My best friend in the whole wide world

What did humans do to deserve dogs? Think about it, even if you're not someone who loves dogs. They are arguably the greatest companions the world has ever known.
They will always remain loyal to you no matter what.
They don't care what you look like when you wake up.
They don't care how much money you make.
They don't care if you wear Gucci or your dad's hand-me-downs.
They don't care if you drive a Bentley or a 1994 Toyota.
They could care less if you were fat or skinny.
They will never lie to you.
They don't care if you have a Phd from Oxford or if you dropped out of High School.
They will never put you up to something you don't want to do (besides scooping poop)
They will be excited to see you every time they see you. Whether you were gone for a week or if you just had to go pee.
If they piss you off and you lock them up for a day, they don't care, they'll forget about it within 10 minutes.
They don't care if you're a convicted felon or a three time nobel peace prize winner
They don't mind sleeping on the ground.
They will stay up with you to watch that one more episode of Netflix 18 times in one night.
If someone just broke up with you they will stay by your side and let you use them as a tissue as long as you need.
A bowl of food and water will do.
If you have an new pair of shoes you don't love, no problem! They'll chew them up for you, heck, they'll even chew up the ones you love.
They will protect you all hours of the night and wake you up on Saturday mornings to let you know the garbage truck is outside just in case you forgot to take out the trash the night before.
They'll finish any food you don't want so nothing goes to waste.
They will die for you if that's what makes you happy.
How many people can you say that about?
How many people can make you feel rare and pure and loved all hours of the day every day?
How many people can make you feel extraordinary?
Just give them your heart, and they'll give you theirs.
We should all spend a little more time being grateful for the best friends we've ever had.

Tree sap

I've never been in love.

At least not in a romantic sense.

Or at least not as far as I know. 

I think I've wanted to be.

But that's a dangerous game to play in high school.

It is arguably the biggest investment that you can make at this age, and it's on someone just as blindly foolish as you are.

You find someone just as madly lovestruck and vulnerable as you and walk aimlessly down a pathway neither of you know.

You expose yourself, hand them a loaded gun, and hope for the best.

You trust them like you trust your own mother

Don't get me wrong. 

I've thought about it plenty, and realized it's not worth the pain I would likely endure.

I've only ever kissed four girls, only one was really real though.

My first.

I remember it more vividly than yesterday.

A cold winter night, sweaty palms, adrenaline pumping through every vein in my body.

So much led up to it, and it was over in the blink of an eye.

Her lips were soft like an over ripe peach.

She closed her eyes, I closed mine, and there it was.

The over-hyped first kiss.

And then she cut me off like a bad habit.

This is turning sappy.

But thats just how love is, isn't it?

Time

Time
I'm really good at wasting it.
One of the best people I know.
I want to spend it doing something good but when I have extra time I guess I just don't know what to do with it.
I spend too much time on instagram.
Too little time being with my little brothers.
Too much time on snapchat.
Too little time taking pictures of things that actually matter.
Too much time on twitter.
Too little time reading out of the good book.
Too much time on Facebook (I know, who uses Facebook anymore?)
Too little time listening to my sisters worries and helping her with them.
Too much time staring at my phone.
Too little time telling my mom about how my life is.
Too much time wishing I had money.
Too little time actually earning money.
Too much time comparing myself to others.
Too little time making myself a better person.
Too much time wishing I had the girl of my dreams.
Too little time going out to get her.
Too much time focusing on what I should have done.
Too little time focusing on what to do next time.
Too much time sitting.
Waiting.
Wishing.
Not spent doing.

Assumptions and Probably's

You can tell a lot about a person by the hat they wear.
At least thats what we assume.
I try not to make assumptions but it's much easier said than done.
If he's wearing a snapback made by Obey or Brixton, he's probably a real douchebag who's full of himself.
If he wears a flat brimmed hat made by Monster he's probably white trash and is the kid you see making out in the hallway but never see in class.
If he wears a Golden State warriors hat he's probably a bandwagoner.
If she's wearing a yankees ball cap with a bun hanging out of the back she probably slept in and didn't have time to do her hair this morning.
If he's wearing a bucket hat he probably smokes pot with his friends after school.
If he's wearing a camo hat that says browning he's probably killed many animals in that hat.
If she wears neon blue DC hat she's probably making out with the guy in the Monster hat.
If he wears a fedora he probably spends all his Friday nights playing video games with the same two people and he's one of 5 people in the lunchroom every day at lunch.
Before we even meet these people we stereotype them and make them out to be something they aren't.
We judge them by what's on their head rather than by what's in it.
I cant tell you right now I've met amazing people in each and every one of those hats that I just talked about.
I am still friends with many of them and I cherish that friendship.
Now thats not to say I didn't assume something about them because I guarantee you I did.
And I bet you make the same assumptions I do.
But that's just an assumption I'm making about you now isn't it.
Dang it.